Where has all the etiquette gone?

Maybe it's the decreasing personal interactions, or just lack of sensitivity, but people now don't seem to have the time for basic civic responsibilities. To be fair, most are blissfully unaware of these responsibilities, even though the same people would expect the rest of the world to know and follow them.

Talking in the theatre and driving styles are whole different stories each. There are those who bring babies to late night shows when they are at their crankiest best, those that insist on bringing underage kids to adult movies, and of course those that can't stop passing "witty" remarks at every scene for the whole theatre to hear. In the words of Shepherd Book (and I paraphrase) - there is a special hell for these people.

People are now more cynical of even helping people who are in obvious and genuine need of help, case in point, when the victims of a brutal crime were left almost naked and seriously injured on the side of the road, no one stopped to call the police or even give them a piece of cloth to cover themselves.

We live in cities where people rarely return your smile even if you see them everyday, and people who won't hold the elevator for two extra seconds even when they see you running to get on. Eve teasing has become something women have to accept as a way of life. Holding open doors for people in need is a thing of the past. No matter what damage or inconvenience someone is causing the other, action will not be taken till they feel like it.

Children too are picking up on this. Adults go by the notion that children's actions are excusable just because they are children and don't understand anything. So, if a child playing in the main driveway runs into a car slowly backing up, the driver is put at fault. Not the parent who was busy chattering away while the child was running amok. It's alright if a child rips apart your plant, or damages something in someone else's house - because they're children. Apparently, so are their parents!

Many such minor episodes culminate to a higher level of apathy and cynicism. We have become wary of people asking for help. A security guard at our building who would always greet us, asked my husband for some money to treat his son for malaria. My husband said he'll pay for the treatment if he just shows us the blood report of the child. The report never showed up. The next time someone asks for money, with what faith would we give it to them?

At the end of the day, when it all gets too much, it helps to concentrate on the goodness of people, no matter how few and far between they are. Be watchful and grateful for the simple joys that creep into your life unnoticed. Because the new year will only bring you so much happiness as much as you bring to it.

And because I don't want to start the year's first blog post bitching about life, here's some cute.

Greetings for the new year

It's been so long that someone has sent an actual letter or postcard, that I felt I should send something out myself! I remember the excitement of getting mail in the mailbox, with cursive writing, maybe a little drawing at the side, and some doodles on fancy letter paper. Emails are a great way to keep in touch, but nothing beats the rare letter or greeting.

UPDATE:

Zentangle

Zentangle is structured doodling. That's the best way to describe it I guess. It was made popular by a couple and many use it to de-stress and for meditation. It is a great way to unwind after a long day. I keep a notepad next to my bed. The repetitive doodling puts you in a lulled state and helps me sleep when sleep is elusive.

It's quite easy to get started. The original concept asks for you to doodle within a 9x9cm square template, but this is no strict rule. The next step is to divide this box into sections. This could be a simple circle at one corner of the margin, or a more complicated division.

Now comes the interesting part. Fill in each section with a doodle pattern. There are various patterns available on the Internet if you get stuck. It can be as spaced or as intricate as you want. If something doesn't go exactly the way you want, do not erase or backtrack it. The whole idea is to let your hand and mind flow freely.

There are no mistakes - only happy accidents.

You can either keep it monochrome or add colour. This particular one I did on the computer. I still need to scan the ones I did by hand. Will update soon.

UPDATE:

The Painted Laminated Cabinet

I was skeptical painting over laminate, but after priming a corner, I believed it was going to be OK. I didn't even bother sanding it down. Up went two coats of primer and 2 coats of paint. The distressed look - done with acrylic paint this time - didn't turn out perfect. But it's not too bad.

Here's the before:

and after:

The room looks a brighter and happier place. The paint is holding up, although there were a few scratches while putting the shelves back together again.

The Painted Table

Most of the furniture in our home is solid wood. I like natural wood finishes but in a small space, it becomes too dull to just see shades of brown everywhere. So, they're all getting painted!

The study table was the first actual paint project. (The wicker seats don't count because, well, a 2 year old can use a can of spray paint.) I don't have a 'before' picture as Husband got excited and started sanding the thing before I could take one. Here's an image I got from the net - it kinda looks like what we had, but with drawers.

It took us about 2 hours to sand the whole thing with a medium grit (120) sandpaper just enough so that the varnish was scraped. Then came the wood primer mixed with a bit of turpentine so that it is easier to spread. We used paint brushes to get some texture on the wood - I didn't want it too smooth since I was going for the distressed look, which was why we didn't sand the table very evenly. We gave it about 8 hours to dry before the 2nd coat. We barely used half a litre of primer with 200ml of turpentine.

Then the painting started after another 8  hours. We used light teal. It's a beautiful and bright color that would've looked even better with a better wall colour. But for now, the dirty cream is what we're stuck with. Husband was insisting we use a putty to smoothen out the roughness, but like I said, I wanted some texture, and that's what we stuck to. It took us two coats of paint, with each coat drying for about 8 hours. (The paint was also diluted in turpentine. We had to get 1 litre of paint as that is the minimum size being sold, so we have with a lot leftover.)

The drawers were painted bright yellow. This paint was the 'signboard yellow' easily available in small amounts and I didn't have to mix any thinner. I just made sure I mixed it well in the can as the bulk of the pigment settles at the bottom of the container. I used scotch tape around the edges to catch the paint and had to do 3 coats. Husband got some new hardware as well, to go with the new look.

Finally, using the same sandpaper, I roughed up the edges a little. It gives the table some character I think. I had a can of PU finish which I sprayed on top for some protection. I don't think it was absolutely necessary, but since I had it I thought 'Eh! Why not?'.

Now, with the leftover paint we shall start the next piece of furniture - a laminated cabinet in the same room.

Easy paint job

This month is paint month. I started with the easiest of the lot - wicker seats. The polish had worn off long ago and it was looking quite a junk yard piece. So a can of spray to the rescue.

I didn't need to sand or prime the surface. I just washed the seats with a water spray and let it dry for 2 days. Then just spray painted the whole thing. It dried up in a few hours but I kept it out to dry for 2 days just to be sure. I didn't want a dramatic change of colour - wanted to keep it light. Just make sure surrounding surfaces are covered with paper before spraying and the area is well ventilated.

Here's the before/after. Like I said, not a drastic change in colour, but it looks fresh and almost new.

Next up, study table. That's gonna take a bit of sanding. Not looking forward to that bit.

The Arrival of Ganesh

When I was growing up, festivals were a time for families to get together and meet friends and neighbors. It was more about socializing than anything else.

These days it seems everything is more about the noise - How much louder and longer I can blast my music and fire crackers than the next building. Where I stay, every opportunity they get, they bring in the loud speakers and mic. There will be an announcer no one wants to hear and loud music. In case of the current Ganesh festival, also a group of very out of tune bhajan 'singers'. Our ears have been ringing with all the noise. Except for Eid. Nothing happens on Eid. There aren't enough people who celebrate the festival who want loud speakers.

Now I don't have anything against people celebrating. I in fact have nothing against anyone doing anything as far as they are not infringing on someone else's space. I will also tolerate fire crackers for a day if required. But unfortunately that's not what usually happens. The 'celebrations' go on for a few days consecutively. That means you don't even get time to recuperate from the headache you got last night.

There is absolutely no consideration for people who don't celebrate the festival or for those who prefer to do it in a quieter fashion.

How I remember the festival is the colony getting an idol on day one; then every evening at the pre-fixed time everyone would gather around it and sing hymns (without mics); then on the eve of the idol immersion, there would be an entertainment show with residents dancing or singing. A procession would be taken out the next day to take the idol and immerse it in a water body. Plain and simple.

You know you're getting old when you wish for 'the good old days'. Sigh!